You Suck; Hire Me

You Suck

Every company has things they’re doing wrong, places they need to improve, and areas where they just don’t understand their market.  You’re no exception.

You might think that your Customer Service department is dealing with the problems, but you’re wrong.  They can only deal with the problems they know about.  There’s a vast number of customers (actual and potential) that don’t complain to you–but do complain to all their friends.  Word-of-mouth is the strongest marketing there is–and it’s just as powerful when it’s negative.

Even if the customers are too polite to complain to anyone, they won’t be buying from you again.

Hire Me

Our Wisconsin branch now offers a new service:  Brutally honest reviews.   We will look at your review your marketing, internal procedures & documentation, products & services, or anything else (like job postings).  And then we will give you a no-holds-barred, blunt and brutal assessment.

Our expert curmudgeons will dig in and find all the things wrong with what you give us.  Give us a week and we’ll give you a dozen ways in which you suck–in brutally honest terms.

…And then we’ll offer suggestions on how to fix the problems.  We are here, after all, to help you improve your company (and make more money).

And Pay Me

Our standard fee is $3,000 per review.  Monthly contracts and retainers are available.

Click “Contact” on the menu up top to get started.